Monthly Archives: June 2009

Writer wanted.

I always knew I loved to write, I loved the way my words would just float unto the page and flow to exact same beat as my thoughts. I just never really thought about it as a career. Not until my junior year of high school, when my English teacher suggested I study Journalism in college. She may not know, but she gave my life a whole new meaning. She opened me up to a whole new world of possibilities. A whole new world of options and experiences I might have not had before.  

What anyone failed to mention, was that it wouldn’t always be so easy to get a job. When I first started out, back in 2005, the gigs came easy. I freelanced, learned a lot, did internships and networked. What I failed to learn was that keeping in touch with all the connections I was making would have been very beneficial to me in the future. But I didn’t really think about that part. I was so excited to make the cover, that it was all I ever aimed for. I was overly ambitious, to say the least.

Anyway, several publications later, I can’t seem to find a paid writing gig. Anywhere. I search craigslist, journalismjobs.com, I even write to the editors of local publications. And nothing. I can’t even get a response. A no thank you. I get nada, nothing, zip. You can imagine my dismay. It’s a bummer.

This my friends is why my so called "tales of an aspiring writer", have become random rants, bits and pieces of the story of my life. But hey, I’m still optimistic. So, I’ll go send another hundred or so emails in hopes of getting a ‘hey, thanks for your interest.’

Fingers crossed.

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Coming of age…

I’ve always as being one step ahead of the pack. You know, just a little bit too mature for my age group. But it seems that, sometime within the past 5 years…my age group caught up with me. Don’t get me wrong, I had my share of rebellious teen years just like everyone else. There were just some mistakes that I just knew not to make.

But lately, I have to admit, I find myself changing and not necessarily for the best. I’ve also heard that your twenties are the years where you hit the most bumps in the road. From coming into your own, to becoming an adult and finding yourself. Finding your meaning…your purpose in this crazy crazy world.

Yet through the years I always felt that I’ve known WHO I was. WHAT I stood for through all the chaos that surrounded my days. Now suddenly,  as my 23rd birthday approaches I feel this unnerving panic that maybe I don’t know it all. More specifically, that I may not know what I want in life AT ALL. This panic is followed by the weirdest sense of calm. Like a rainbow after a storm.

As I count down the days to being one year older…I’m not sure what to make of this epiphany I find myself in. Although I didn’t welcome it with open arms, to say the least, I find oddly reassuring. And I have to smile at the thought of having finally earned a little peace through my coming of age.

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Give and Take

Somewhere along the way we lost IT. That thing, that spark, that passion. That unyielding force that brought us together that warm September day. We found LOVE. A love that I thought only existed in fairy tales. I could feel my heart skip a beat whenever you were close. I could forget to breathe if you looked my way. I yearned for your touch like a flower in need of her sunshine.

I remembered those feelings last night as I was dreaming of our love. Our young love. As it began so long ago. I couldn’t help but miss it as soon as I woke up. Making me wonder, where we went wrong. That was when I realized it.

I can’t keep holding back because I give you more than you give me. Everyone wants to be an equal in their relationships, but sometimes that’s not the case. Sometimes that is the point. If relationships are give and take, then maybe my part is to show you. Teach you by giving you my all.

Unconditionally.

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Giving in to peer pressure…

Okay, so I kind of pride myself on not doing things for the mere reason that EVERYONE else is doing it. I’ve always upheld that standard in my life as my #1 rule…until now.

I never really bought in to the whole "Twilight" blowup. Didn’t go out and read the book or the reviews or talk about it with anyone. I would actually excuse myself from the conversation if that was the topic. Until a month or so ago, I was doing my little sisters’ hair and my dad had just bought her the movie. So naturally, Steph was raving about it and was in complete shock that I STILL had not seen it. Especially since she had seen it in theaters more than once.

So, unable to argue as to why I was not interested (never a good idea to argue with a teenage girl when it comes to boys, ie. Edward) I gave in. As I was braiding her hair, all of it I might add, during my break from school Andrea (my other little sister) put on the movie. Naturally, we skipped the previews and got straight to it.

I have to admit, I fully expected to be bored and focus on her hair as it played but that was not the case. I found myself completely distracted…taken in by the film, from the beginning. The story line, the intensity between Edward and Bella. I felt like a love sick teenager again. And I LOVED IT!

Unfortunately, I couldn’t finish it that day since I had to go back to school. But I rented it soon after. What an amazing film, for people young to old to appreciate. Being the creative writer that I am, I gave in and bought the book. Oh my god. I was hooked. I finished it in less than two days.

I’m dying to get the next ones, just been too busy. But I should have it by tomorrow. If you’ve read them, then you know what I’m talking about. If you have no idea, I suggest to get on it…and fast. Stephanie Meyer’s use of imagery is exceptional. Her words, the adjectives in her details are so well put that you can easily see it in your mind. Even without having seen the film.

I’m so excited to keep reading that I can barely wait!

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No quick fix.

I never realized how much I relied on technology to get me through the day until my laptop crashed. Talk about a bad day. I thought I was having a panic attack from the immense amount of stress that came over me as soon as that screen went black. It was as if someone took the very breathe right out of my lungs. Literally.

The days that came after were no better, I’m sad to report, I was like a junkie in desperate need of a quick fix. And no I’m not being overly dramatic…you try it and see how YOU react.

In today’s world technology has become another highly addictive drug that cause serious withdrawals, headaches, and some studies even suggest cancer. On a personal level, it was excruciating to spend an entire two weeks without my tech internet fix.

I’m happy to report that I’ve officially rejoined the world on the internet and have spend my time obsessively updating my profiles on various networks. I’ve even joined a few new ones to market my personal brand. So world look out…here I come! 

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