Daily Archives: June 27, 2009

I always knew I loved to write, I loved the way my words would just float unto the page and flow to exact same beat as my thoughts. I just never really thought about it as a career. Not until my junior year of high school, when my English teacher suggested I study Journalism in college. She may not know, but she gave my life a whole new meaning. She opened me up to a whole new world of possibilities. A whole new world of options and experiences I might have not had before.  

What anyone failed to mention, was that it wouldn’t always be so easy to get a job. When I first started out, back in 2005, the gigs came easy. I freelanced, learned a lot, did internships and networked. What I failed to learn was that keeping in touch with all the connections I was making would have been very beneficial to me in the future. But I didn’t really think about that part. I was so excited to make the cover, that it was all I ever aimed for. I was overly ambitious, to say the least.

Anyway, several publications later, I can’t seem to find a paid writing gig. Anywhere. I search craigslist, journalismjobs.com, I even write to the editors of local publications. And nothing. I can’t even get a response. A no thank you. I get nada, nothing, zip. You can imagine my dismay. It’s a bummer.

This my friends is why my so called "tales of an aspiring writer", have become random rants, bits and pieces of the story of my life. But hey, I’m still optimistic. So, I’ll go send another hundred or so emails in hopes of getting a ‘hey, thanks for your interest.’

Fingers crossed.

I’ve always as being one step ahead of the pack. You know, just a little bit too mature for my age group. But it seems that, sometime within the past 5 years…my age group caught up with me. Don’t get me wrong, I had my share of rebellious teen years just like everyone else. There were just some mistakes that I just knew not to make.

But lately, I have to admit, I find myself changing and not necessarily for the best. I’ve also heard that your twenties are the years where you hit the most bumps in the road. From coming into your own, to becoming an adult and finding yourself. Finding your meaning…your purpose in this crazy crazy world.

Yet through the years I always felt that I’ve known WHO I was. WHAT I stood for through all the chaos that surrounded my days. Now suddenly,  as my 23rd birthday approaches I feel this unnerving panic that maybe I don’t know it all. More specifically, that I may not know what I want in life AT ALL. This panic is followed by the weirdest sense of calm. Like a rainbow after a storm.

As I count down the days to being one year older…I’m not sure what to make of this epiphany I find myself in. Although I didn’t welcome it with open arms, to say the least, I find oddly reassuring. And I have to smile at the thought of having finally earned a little peace through my coming of age.