I’ve always as being one step ahead of the pack. You know, just a little bit too mature for my age group. But it seems that, sometime within the past 5 years…my age group caught up with me. Don’t get me wrong, I had my share of rebellious teen years just like everyone else. There were just some mistakes that I just knew not to make.
But lately, I have to admit, I find myself changing and not necessarily for the best. I’ve also heard that your twenties are the years where you hit the most bumps in the road. From coming into your own, to becoming an adult and finding yourself. Finding your meaning…your purpose in this crazy crazy world.
Yet through the years I always felt that I’ve known WHO I was. WHAT I stood for through all the chaos that surrounded my days. Now suddenly, as my 23rd birthday approaches I feel this unnerving panic that maybe I don’t know it all. More specifically, that I may not know what I want in life AT ALL. This panic is followed by the weirdest sense of calm. Like a rainbow after a storm.
As I count down the days to being one year older…I’m not sure what to make of this epiphany I find myself in. Although I didn’t welcome it with open arms, to say the least, I find oddly reassuring. And I have to smile at the thought of having finally earned a little peace through my coming of age.