Someone close to me once told me that people never really think about how much their decisions can impact those around them. I was fine with giving this city a few more years. I had decided to get a few more things in order before making my way back into the world and, for the most part, I was okay with that decision.
I mean, I still missed home and felt that ghastly pang of guilt in my stomach every time I drove back to Naples, but it was my choice. I had chosen Naples for a while, and Miami was just not an option. At least not when I first moved back to Florida. I was still broken, I needed time. Time to heal, time to cope with my heartbreak and time to take in and adjust to all the changes that went down in the last few years.
That time turned into three years of me living in Naples. I stayed when my family moved back to Miami from LA a few months after I came back. I stayed when my Dad moved back to Miami and left my brother and me in Naples on our own. I even stayed when my brother and I stopped living together and I moved out on my own. Was it scary? Hell yeah.
But it was all a part of this whole new package that I had willingly gone along with. I had a great job at the local newspaper, working in events and marketing. I was back in school, changed my major a few times, only to wind up with what I had started with in the first place – Journalism. I even transferred to FGCU and took out a few student loans in the process.
All of these things were happening and it really felt like my life was on the right track, for once. Well, at least that’s how I justified my decision to stay, even when it felt like the wrong decision.
See, I worked in corporate America a while back but I was much younger and did not like the culture of it all. The bullshit, the back-stabbing nature of the game or the lack of loyalty in the people. Back then, I blamed it on my age, my lack of experience and maturity and I was convinced that with time, I would grow to love that kind of work environment. Now, the more I think about it, the more I think I may have had it all wrong.
While I loved working in marketing and events, and was surprised to actually be good at it too, I have to credit the bulk of that to the leadership I was under. I never had an interest in newspapers, I always felt like they glorified bad news and often swayed to the pull of that pretty penny. But I took the job anyways, not for the company, but to work under her. I knew I had a lot to learn from her the moment I met her, and about that, I could not have been more right.
So when my boss, my friend and above all, my mentor announced that she was leaving the company, it made me think about why I was really there. Still, I had school to think about and I loved the one-on-one attention I was getting at FGCU. But then, my favorite professor at FGCU gave his notice as well and announced that he was leaving the program. To say these two individuals shook my world would be an understatement.
Although my job was still something I highly enjoyed, I could foresee my education taking a backseat to my career once again and that was just not something I was willingly to do. All of that, mixed in with how much I’ve missed my family and all the issues that go along with that made me sit and really evaluate the path my life was on. Besides, I think four years away from home is long enough.
Where I’ll end up, no one knows, but I can tell you one thing – it will be exactly where I’m meant to be.
Jennifer M Lima 