Eight months of busting my ass to prove myself worthy of becoming a permanent fixture at the infamous NDN finally paid off. I became an official member of the gang as of Monday morning. So why does it still feel like something is missing?
I feel like I’m in one of hose transitional periods in life when you’re going through huge changes, but they’re happening very slowly. This new job is a huge deal for me and I am beyond words excited to finally be in a position where I can really show the world what I can do, but it’s still a little unnerving to finally have something you’ve worked so hard for. On the end, I’m moving once again. The difference is that this time, for the first time, I’m moving into a place completely on my own. No parents, no siblings and no definitely no boyfriends.
Am I excited about moving out alone? Well yeah, but I’m more excited about the independent new Jenny part much more than the looking for a new place and physically moving part. Those parts-not so fun. Not to mention that this is like the fourth time I’ve moved in the past year and a half. Let’s just say, it’s been an interesting few years.
Describing my like in one word right now – CHANGE. Not like change is a new thing for me, but I’m trying to make the changes in my life more meaningful lately. A very important step in doing that is taking control of MY life. I decided a while ago, September of 2009 to be exact, that I was going to stop putting myself in situations that gave other people the power to drastically change my circumstances. Maybe I had an epiphany, maybe I finally grew up or maybe somebody finally gave me a wake-up call. Call it what you want. All I know is that I went from finally feeling like I belonged to crying on the curb at LAX, in the midst of an emotional breakdown, with no idea how the hell I got there. Right then, that moment changed me forever.
So now, I embark on yet another new chapter in my life. One where I hope to explore, learn and love-every chance I get. And without fear or restrictions. From now on, it’s what I want and when I want. Hmm why do I feel like I’ve said this before? Oh yeah, this was my New Year’s resolution for 2011. Well, it’s better late than never.
Jennifer M Lima 