People are in your past for one reason and one reason only – they simply do not belong in your future.
Whether you made the decision that put them there or they chose to walk away, the fact is that their part of your story is over. Dead and gone. I’m not saying you just forget about them, the things you shared or that they even exist. But you do have to let it go. Holding on to a failed relationship or refusing to forgive someones betrayal will only hurt you in the long run. People are people and they make mistakes. Sometimes they lie, sometimes they hurt you and sometimes they’re sorry. Forgiving someone does not make you weak or make what they did okay, it simply sets you free. Reminiscing about what was, what wasn’t and what could have been will only hold you back from what is and sometimes what is is better than you can even imagine.
Life moves quickly. It is unyielding and waits for no one. No matter how much planning you may do for it, life will always throw you a curve ball that you better be ready to take. Don’t get me wrong, plans are great. Knowing what you want out of life and where you want to go is very important, but there’s a very big difference between planning and doing. I used to have plans. Big ones. I was 17 and I was ready to take on the world, one adventure at a time. I became a writer because I had something to say, something that was different and controversial. I had opinions and lots of them. But then, life threw me a curve ball. I found myself engaged at 18 and playing wifey before I was even sure I believed in marriage.
That was my curve ball and yes I know it comes up quite a bit in my blogs, but that’s not because I haven’t let it go. It comes up because, for me, that relationship was a game changer. It was a huge part of my life for a very long time and it drastically influenced who I am today. Whether it’s something I’m grateful for or something I regret, I’m not sure yet but it was important. Important because it was unplanned, it took me off course, way off course. It was a curve ball that I did not see coming and looking back, I didn’t really deal with it like I should have. But that’s life. Either way, it got me to where I am today and today, I’m finally realizing that this life is mine. My happiness is in my hands and the choices in front of me are mine to make. Happiness is not so this hard, it’s a simple choice. You choose to be happy. You choose to take risks and follow your gut. And in some cases, you choose to let other people make the wrong choices for you.
No one ever said life was easy or that lessons weren’t earned and not learned, but they do tell you it’s a ride. So why shouldn’t you enjoy every bump and sharp turn? Take it in with the rush that it brings and give in to it. Allow it to change you, to alter your perception of the world. Don’t fear change, embrace it.
Jennifer M Lima 