Maybe there’s something in the air, maybe it’s just a blend of good times or maybe it’s the result of extreme moments of intoxication. Whatever the reason behind it, I’m oh so jolly for the holidays this year. Don’t get me wrong, this is always my favorite time of year, but there’s just something different about this year. I can’t remember the last time I felt this…well…happy. Is that sad? Has it been that long since I’ve had a holiday this nice and drama free? Damn. Maybe it has.
Either way, I am beyond words grateful for all the amazing people that I have in my life right now. I’ve been changing a lot these past few years and would be where I am today without them. It’s crazy, because where I am, is something I fought for so long. Something I was sure I did not want and now, looking back, I was just scared. Scared of really branching out and testing out these wings. I held onto something much longer than I should have just because it was easier than letting it go. But I can’t say those years were wasted because I still accomplished a lot of cool things during that time, but it’s like they say “it’s always clear when you’re looking towards the past.” I think everyone has that moment where you realize how different your life would have been if you knew then what you know now, but thinking about it, wouldn’t your present be very different too? Changing your past changes your future and if you’re having that moment now…you’re probably in a pretty good place.
I don’t know, I wish I could say that I’d change it if I could, but I wouldn’t change a thing. Because all that shit, all that heartbreak and pain, those lessons made me the woman that I am today. An educated, professional, completely independent young woman. That’s something I’d been feeling strange about, but after a few wise words from some very wise friends, I realized that where I am is a good place. It’s a place that some people struggle to get to their whole lives and I’m here now. That feeling, that doubt I was feeling was just fear. Fear of something new and unknown, and you know what? Fear is nothing more that a state of mind. It has power because you give it power and you can take it back once you realize that’s all it is.
So, getting back on track, I want to wish everyone a wonderful holiday season this year. I hope you are surrounded with lots of joy, laughter and good times. I hope you remember the true meaning of this season and cherish the people that you love, cause if I’ve learned anything, it’s that people come and go-faster than you can imagine.
Jennifer M Lima 