No more miss nice girl

I used to believe that staying quiet when people talked about others, pointing out flaws that were more projected than real was the polite thing to do. The right thing. I thought that speaking up and getting dragged into an argument was degrading, and only allowed those people to bring you down to their level. But now, I feel like being a hypocrite and chalking it up to manners is not smart at all. In reality, the only thing that really does is allow negativity to breed in your presence. By allowing bad, or simply unpleasant, people to stay in your life all you’re doing is hurting yourself. 

I read a quote the other day that said “If it doesn’t add to your life, it doesn’t belong in your life.” And honestly, I couldn’t agree more. My mother always told me that some people were born with a light, a capacity for kindness if you will, and others were still struggling to find their own light. And sometimes, they’re going to fight to take yours. These battles aren’t always obvious, kind of like the whole wolf in sheep’s clothing thing, and it’s your job to protect yourself.

As a kid, I thought these battles were going real battles. Like in medieval times, and I thought damn, I better learn to use a sword. But now, I realize that they’re much simpler than that, and we fight them everyday. 

Honestly, I’m just tired of being polite. Tired of having to be around people I think are just bad, and tired of having to smile. I found myself in one of those painfully awful situations today, and even though the conversation wasn’t with me, I was forced to suffer through it anyways. Instead of speaking up and really letting them know what I thought, I just left. I simply didn’t have the time for the negative free fall I was caught in, but I didn’t have the strength to speak my mind either. That’s when I realized I was being polite, I was just afraid. It seems that I had allowed people’s cruel words to bully me into silence, without me even realizing it. I know that I’ve never been a fan of confrontations, but I never wanted to be the person to afraid to speak the truth either. 

So from now on, fuck being polite. I think it’s time to get real, real honest. 

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