Relationships…do we ever really move on?

Relationships are a part of life. An inevitable part of life,  whether it’s our relationships with our families, friends or our significant other. We all have them…some more than others. Some leave a few footprints on your heart, some leave a few cracks in your soul and very few change the course of your life. Those special relationships have the ability to knock your train off the tracks and force you to take a leap of faith.

No matter how big or small the impact a relationship has on your life, there are always complications. Why are relationships so complicated? Because people are complicated. We all have layers upon layers upon layers of ourselves. Some of these layers are obvious like our taste in food and others, like trust and commitment issues, are hiding beneath the surface.

I heard something today that made me think, really think about why we move on the way we do. “It’s easier to live with someone that you’re not in love with than with someone you are in love with.” To be honest, I never really thought about it like that, but it does make sense. When you’re in love, you’re vulnerable to that person. Anything they do or say can either make your day or ruin it. It may not be something they do intentionally, but that’s not really the point is it?

Yet, when you live with someone that your heart is not vulnerable to…it’s so much simpler. You don’t have that fear of losing them or sensitivity to their moods. And well, speaking your mind is a little bit easier too.

The same goes for being in a relationship with someone that you don’t love. I remember dating a boy that I wasn’t in love with, but he was in love with me. It’s wasn’t a very long relationship but it does stand out in my memories. It stands out because it’s the only relationship I’ve ever been in where I was in total control. I had the power. I felt powerful because there was no risk with him. My heart was in zero danger and my emotions were completely unaffected by our situation.

Now, looking back after being in a relationship were I could never get a grip on my feelings, the thought of being in a new relationship where I could feel that power had its appeal. Still, do we ever really leave any of our past relationships behind? Our ex-boyfriends, old friends or distant relatives, are they ever really gone?

I was talking to a friend about this very thing a few days ago and she said “No te vas ha fijar en nadie si no cortas de esa relación,” which in English basically means that you’re not really going to be interested in anyone new if you don’t let go of your past. I thought about this for a while…and it made me wonder. I know you can cut people out of your life, but can you ever really cut them out of your heart?


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