Monthly Archives: June 2010

A More Grown-Up Me

Lately it feels like time is moving by fast and slow at the same time…it’s like I spend so much time trying to grow up and figure things out that I can’t see the pieces falling together right in front of me. Makes me wonder how much control you actually have over the course your life takes. Sometimes, the choices we make have already been determined and we merely following the arrows on a map.

It’s so weird to not be in a relationship after being part of an “us” for so many years. But not necessarily a bad kind of weird, it’s just different and new. I’ve been spending a lot of time at the beach or the pool and it made me realize how much I’ve missed being in the water. The ocean used to be one of my favorite places in the world, ever since I was a little girl you’d always find me  barefoot in the sand with my slightly burned skin and wild golden curls. I can’t seem to remember why I stopped going though. Somewhere along the way I guess I got so caught up with life and all the bullshit that I forgot to stop and appreciate the little things.

Doesn’t everyone though? I think that maybe we associate being an “adult” with letting go of the simple things that gave us so much joy. Things like the sounds of crashing waves and the scent of coconuts and suntan oil. The way the rain feels on your skin, especially when it catches you by surprise. Or the fun in just being silly and laughing at nothing.

Maybe I’ve been enlightened…or maybe I’ve been spending too much time with my teenaged sisters. Either way, I feel so mellowed out and excited and ready to take on the world! But this time, I’m a little bit wiser and have a much longer fuse 😉

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