Tag Archives: life

The Real Lesson Here

A few times in my life, I have experienced the feeling of “destiny” when meeting someone new. The feeling is like a pull, almost like gravity, that suddenly makes you feel heavy on the earth. Like you suddenly belong exactly where you are standing at that very moment and no one, and nothing, can move you. It lasts just a few seconds, or even minutes, but then it’s gone and all you’re left with is this feeling like something important just happened. It’s like an understanding that this person should be in your life…

I’ve experienced that feeling twice, and both times I was far too focused on all the wrong things to truly understand what it meant.

The first time I was seventeen, and afraid of what people would say or think if I followed my gut and took the chance on a stranger. It was a complicated situation and I was way too young and inexperienced to really see what was going on at the time.

The second time, I was twenty-three and terrified of making another huge mistake. I was not in a place where I wanted to introduce new people, or complications, into my life and I had already learned how easily a few bad moves could wreak havoc on your entire life. Still, I almost took the chance with this one, but the fear of falling into another downward spiral was just too much. So instead, I went with the logical choice.

People always say that experiences make you wiser and as you get older, you learn to maneuver yourself in this big ole world.  But looking back, I think that what makes us wiser is not the experiences themselves, but the fact that we learn to trust ourselves above all else. We’re born with all the tools that we need to live the lives laid out for us, even with all the curve balls life throws our way. Our gut tells us which way to go and when to stop or move on, we just have to listen.

We get so caught up in societies’ interpretation of what’s right and what’s wrong that we forget the fact that we already know, we know because we can feel it. We come naturally equipped with the skills we need to live in the world, what we learn along the way are the skills we need to survive in the society that we created. We created a society full of double standards, harsh words and an abundance of greed where we should have an abundance of compassion.

In retrospect, I’ve faced this test twice and twice I had failed. I failed because I missed the lesson the first time, and let fear take over the second time. But the lesson is not to take the risk, but to follow my heart, my gut and my own instincts.

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Do you ever feel?

Do you ever feel like you’re searching for something that you just can’t find? You know it’s “something” but that’s the best description you even have…it’s the kind of thing you can’t even put your finger on. The kind of thing you just feel, just know. Maybe it’s something that you recognize on a soul level, maybe it’s something from another life. Something you had or almost had. How long have you been searching for it? Could be years, lifetimes, or even millenniums.

I’ve had a close call or two. So close I thought, maybe just maybe, this could be as close as I’ll ever get…but just close is never enough.

It’s not talking about elusive “the one” because frankly that something that you’re searching for could come in many shapes and sizes. Not necessarily in just a romantic arena. It could be one person or even five people.

Who really knows? Who can say it’s limited to one single person? Especially when you may can come into contact with billions of people on this planet.

It’s about a connection. It’s about a sense of knowing someone in a way that’s deeper than even your conscious mind can go. It’s like in that moment, the universe comes to a complete stop, just to give you a second to take it all in.

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You put people in the past for a reason, don’t forget that

People are in your past for one reason and one reason only – they simply do not belong in your future.

Whether you made the decision that put them there or they chose to walk away, the fact is that their part of your story is over. Dead and gone. I’m not saying you just forget about them, the things you shared or that they even exist. But you do have to let it go. Holding on to a failed relationship or refusing to forgive someones betrayal will only hurt you in the long run. People are people and they make mistakes. Sometimes they lie, sometimes they hurt you and sometimes they’re sorry. Forgiving someone does not make you weak or make what they did okay, it simply sets you free. Reminiscing about what was, what wasn’t and what could have been will only hold you back from what is and sometimes what is is better than you can even imagine.

Life moves quickly. It is unyielding and waits for no one. No matter how much planning you may do for it, life will always throw you a curve ball that you better be ready to take. Don’t get me wrong, plans are great. Knowing what you want out of life and where you want to go is very important, but there’s a very big difference between planning and doing. I used to have plans. Big ones. I was 17 and I was ready to take on the world, one adventure at a time. I became a writer because I had something to say, something that was different and controversial. I had opinions and lots of them. But then, life threw me a curve ball. I found myself engaged at 18 and playing wifey before I was even sure I believed in marriage.

That was my curve ball and yes I know it comes up quite a bit in my blogs, but that’s not because I haven’t let it go. It comes up because, for me, that relationship was a game changer. It was a huge part of my life for a very long time and it drastically influenced who I am today. Whether it’s something I’m grateful for or something I regret, I’m not sure yet but it was important. Important because it was unplanned, it took me off course, way off course. It was a curve ball that I did not see coming and looking back, I didn’t really deal with it like I should have. But that’s life. Either way, it got me to where I am today and today, I’m finally realizing that this life is mine. My happiness is in my hands and the choices in front of me are mine to make. Happiness is not so this hard, it’s a simple choice. You choose to be happy. You choose to take risks and follow your gut. And in some cases, you choose to let other people make the wrong choices for you.

No one ever said life was easy or that lessons weren’t earned and not learned, but they do tell you it’s a ride. So why shouldn’t you enjoy every bump and sharp turn? Take it in with the rush that it brings and give in to it. Allow it to change you, to alter your perception of the world. Don’t fear change, embrace it.

 

 

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