A page dedicated to my rules to live by, lesson’s learned, anecdotes and the occasional ramblings of a stranger.
“Sometimes you just have to trick people into wanting what’s good for them. Now that’s good marketing.”- Me
When talking about Marc Anthony:
P: I just don’t get what people see in him, he’s like this big. (gestures to tiny size)
S: Well I don’t know about that.
L: He might be skinny, but that’s not what I’ve heard…
“One of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do, is to stop loving someone because they stopped loving you.”
A night of networking…
L: Why do we have two spoons?
S: For dessert.
L: But why two? Ohh I know! For coffee!
S: What? Do you want a brownie now?
L: Hey! I wasn’t raised like this, I was raised by wolves. You should be happy that I can use a fork and knife.
A days work…
S: “Oh no, this thing is gonna be boring as hell…”
L: “Oh my god, no. Don’t say that.”
S: “…but at least there’s food.”
L: “So you think just because there’s food I’ll go?”
S: “Of course.”
L: “Well yeah, that’s true.”
S: “Let’s be real here”
Wise words from Mr. S:
“If you keep on living in the past, you’re gonna miss the future.”
“Forget regret, or life is your to miss.”
Note to self: If your male co-worker is complaining about being hot and sweaty when it’s not hot at all, he may be suffering from manopause.
A days work…
S: “Where are all the cute people?”
L: “Not here. Everyone here is either married, old or gay.”
S: “Yeah, or married, old and gay.”
“I can slap a bitch if need be!”- James
Rule #43: Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
Intern to Editor: “It’s cause I forget everything, so I’m really good at remembering stuff.”
Rule #3: Forgive everyone for everything.
Rule #67: You don’t have to win every argument. Sometimes true victory lies in the loss.
Rule #44: Don’t take yourself so seriously. Believe me, no one else does.
Rule #26: Don’t forget that you still have me. I’ll always be your friend, friendship doesn’t go away just cause we fuck up.
“I’m not a gold digger, I just appreciate things.”
A days work…
L: “I kind of like this gum, it taste like Pepto Bismol”
S: “Ewww. That’s gross.”
L: “What? I have a tummy ache and it helps.”
Note to self: Learn when to shut the fuck up.
“Life is too short, to wear boring clothes.”
Rule #6: Always respect yourself. If you don’t, he won’t either.
“There’s a girl out there with love in her eyes and flowers in her hair.” ॐ
Rule #23: Choose your lies carefully. People always find out. Just because they don’t confront you, doesn’t mean they don’t know.
Rule #37: There are two types of employees, the ones that work and the ones that don’t.
“It’s simple. If you don’t like the way I live my life, don’t come around.”
Rule #32: Enjoy the little things.
“I can’t rely on men. Doesn’t mean I don’t love them. Doesn’t mean I walk out. Just means I adjust my expectations. Men are weak.”
“I’m a Lover, not a Fighter…unless you like it rough.”
Rule #70: Never make eye contact while eating a banana.
“So why are you alone wasting your time when you could be with me wasting your time?”
“I spend half my time thinking about how much I love you, and I spend the other half wishing I’d never met you”
Rule #57: When someone asks to take my picture and asks for my name, I’m not going to say no.
Note to self: Don’t get knocked up. Thanks.
Rule #22: Time is the most valuable thing in the world, never forget that.
Rule #29: When sad, heartbroken or angry-Facebook is NOT your friend. I repeat, do NOT post a status update on facebook when experiencing any of the above mentioned emotions.
Life Insurance according to my Dad:
“I have a warranty on all of you, in case you break. I knew you guys were clumsy so I got it.”
A days work…
S: “When is she coming back?”
L: “She’s on FMLA and there’s no limit to that…”
S: “F%$k my life absence?”
L: “Exactly.”
Rule #53: When you’re so excited you could kick a dog, don’t. Just slap a b!%@#.
“Never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.”
Rule #31: Always take the road that scares you the most, because fear is one hell of a motivator.
“Live to work, not work to live.”
“It is said there is no sin in killing a beast, only in killing a man. But where does one begin and the other end?”
Rule #7: Enjoy the moment, because it only comes once.
Rule #96: Do not, under any circumstances, drink NyQuil before going to be beach. Ever.
Rule #33: Don’t waste your time with people that suck the life out of you, because life is just too short.
